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my god i did cry

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xxemmaxx View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 Aug 2007
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Post Options Post Options   Quote xxemmaxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: my god i did cry
    Posted: 03 Jan 2008 at 5:21pm
i have just read the hospic.net preparing for death.  it was truely moving and i cried so much id recomend this site to anyone who knows that someone is going to die.  i found it so distressing because of one thing.  the peice says that the hearing is the last thing to go.. i remember that on day 7 that my sister was ill i lent over her and i told her to let go i told her to go and be with the angels and to not fight anymore ( im crying so hard) now i feel so bad because i did not think she could hear me. she was in a coma and suffering so much each time they brought her out of the coma to asses her.  i told her to let go and i didnt think she could hear me now i feel so bad. also on the day she died i spoke with a nurse next to her about her future care and said that i was going to take her daughter away from the hospital for a while to clear her head and tell her the truth abouther mums future care if she survived hospital.  it was whilst i was away with chelsie that my sister passed away and im not sure if she let go because id left her for the first time or because she didnt want to die in front of me. the nurses said she waited for me to go and that she didnt want to die in front of me but i cant help thinking she thought id abandond her. sorry but i dont no how i can do this anymore  i started my day thinking i can help anyone on this site and now i feel like a complete wreck.  i did find the info usefull but its upset me to sorry emmax
my sister hung herself on 1st june 07, her heart stopped on 14th june. i wish to help myself and others and to get through this bad time one day.
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Sammi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sammi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jan 2008 at 2:12pm
Hi Emma,
 
I posted that link, Jeez im sorry for the way it made you feel. I totally related to it when my Sam passed away. It is only a guide, please dont read too much into it and the way your sister passed. We all have feelings about the way things happen in the last few days, Sam was in hospital for 2 weeks gradually deteriorating. When she passed i was in bits, but the nurses told me she was so lucky to have someone who doted on her and loved her so much, and i'm sure your sister was in the same situation with you. You did what you thought was right, that is all you can do :)
 
Steve
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Post Options Post Options   Quote emma light Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jan 2008 at 4:44pm
Emma, I only left my mum for 10 minutes and she died. The nurse said that she most probably wanted to go before that but held on so as not to let me see her go coz she knew i didnt want her too. Huni you have done so much for your sisters memory please dont let this affect what you have acheived. I dont know know what else to say except im here if you need to talk ok. we have the link of losing our siblings in the same circumstances so if theres anything I can do let me know. Your friend Emma xxx
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Post Options Post Options   Quote xxemmaxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jan 2008 at 5:19pm
dear emma and steve thanks both of you for your kind words
steve by no way was this down to you i found the link really helpful i think where suicide is concerned you just feel so guilty and anything can set you off.  i find blame in everything i did and go over it and over it in my head its just such an impossibe feeling that you could of done something to prevent it happening.  there are loads of thing i beat myself up over i think we all do it.  im feeling much better today i just needed to express myself thanks for your reply its what i came here for so thanks emma
my sister hung herself on 1st june 07, her heart stopped on 14th june. i wish to help myself and others and to get through this bad time one day.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SWISS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2008 at 10:40am
OMG Emma... I am so sorry about your loss. Your sister passed away because it was her time to leave.
 
At the same time I kind of feel the same as you do. I remember The day dad passed away I was just praying in the family room. I prayed to God to just take him because seeing him in pain of cancer going into his lungs his brain, his liver, and just everywhere was not bearable. After I prayed I walked to his room and sat next time him. He because restless and I helped him. He lifted his hand, I called his name, he opened his eyes and passed away. It all happened so fast I didn't even know it was death. I can remember the look in his eyes. It wasn't easy for him to face death. It wasn't easy for me to see his face like this. It would have not been easy for you to deal with your sister's passing moement, may be it was all for the best under the circumstances...
 
Love...
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote xxemmaxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2008 at 2:03pm
thanks im doing alot better now and i no she needed to go, i apreciate your kind words many thanks emma xx
my sister hung herself on 1st june 07, her heart stopped on 14th june. i wish to help myself and others and to get through this bad time one day.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Leilani Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2008 at 4:19am
Hi Emma..I just read your post..I know that your sister loves you so much and she didn't want you to feel bad about it,..when Danny passed away I was not even there..I feel bad about it because how I wish that I was there when it happens..but, I know Danny doesn't want me to be there because he knows that I will feel more sad if I saw him like that.he always wants to look good in front of me and the accident cause his face a big bruised..He wants me to remember him when he was still alive..

I know you are always here for us..God bless you always!
"I will always be in love with you and I will always miss you..I hope to see you soon.."
http://danilo.dolorito.muchloved.com
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Declan's_mummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jun 2008 at 7:45pm

Hi Emma,

me again ;)
I just read this post for the first time and I didn't know about the hearing, but the first thing that spran to my mind when i read this.....If you said you are going to take care of your niece,maybe your sister heard it maybe not, but if she did, she must have known that it was safe to go as you were going to take care of her daughter.
I hope I am not upsetting you with this, but i have thought of ending it all since my Declan died, and then I think of my other son who is only 6 and i know I have to stay strong. He is not close to anybody else like he is with me and I know he would be lost. But as scary as this sounds, if i knew 4month ago someone would take good care of him, I wouln't sit here now. And even its not healthy thinking, this is the way i felt back then and maybe that is how your sister thought too?
I have suffered from depressions after both my pregnancies and I think it is quite hard to understand for someone who never had it, how you feel then.
Hope you are doing ok and like I said in the other posts, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wish you a peaceful day
 
Yvonne
xx
 
While we try and teach our children about life, its them who teach us what life is all about!Miss you so much Declan
http://declan.marnell.muchloved.com
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xxemmaxx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote xxemmaxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jul 2008 at 12:43am
thanks for that your a star love emma
my sister hung herself on 1st june 07, her heart stopped on 14th june. i wish to help myself and others and to get through this bad time one day.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Emmasmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Sep 2008 at 10:10pm
Thank you for the post,they did say to me when my Emma was going to die that she may be still able to hear you,its preyed on my mind as they turned off the machines that my Sister in Law lost it and started screaming,i have said over and over "i hope that was,nt the last thing she heard"I did whisper in her ear"Go to sleep Baby"I wish i had said can they all leave the room but i was,nt thinking strait?
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