Jonathan Davies, the founding trustee of website memorial charity MuchLoved, explains how creating an online memorial helped him in his grieving process as well as providing a place for friends and family to reflect and to contribute their own memories.
As a child, I remember hearing a letter written by my grandfather to be read out upon his death. It was a significant, meaningful moment, made all the more solemn by the ritual of opening and reciting the letter. I suspect that a parting email would not have had quite the same impact, but there is an area in which digital media has a new and helpful role to play – in enabling the creation, publication and storage of an online memorial.
This new kind of memorial has a number of benefits. It presents no geographical or time constraints - family living far away can share their memories in one place and 'visit' whenever they want, unbound by closing times or transport requirements. After my brother died, I remember climbing over the fence of the graveyard one evening in order to visit his grave. It may have been a reaction to the idea of the cemetery gates closing shut at dusk, or maybe the need I had at a particular time, regardless of whether it was day or night, to simply connect with him.
Along with words of commemoration and photos, an online memorial also allows video clips and songs to be added, both of which enable memories of your loved one to be shared and preserved. My brother's girlfriend gave me a tape of a song that she used to play constantly after his death and this song remains an important association and link to him, which I keep on his site to this day.
A memorial can also be used as a way of collecting donations to charity, often as an alternative to sending funeral flowers, or in order to do something positive in response to a death. From April Muchloved will be partnering with CAF to enable all memorial guests to make a secure online donation to a chosen charity.
An online memorial can also be updated if people wish to contribute new memories or information. I have given close friends and family members the ability to access and contribute to my brother's memorial so that they can keep his memory alive in their own way, at the same time perhaps adding photographs or stories that I may not have seen or heard before.
Most people do not have the time, budget or technical skills to develop a website themselves which can provide all of these things. MuchLoved has been developed so that you can easily create a free personalised online tribute to your loved one. We want to give people a place to remember, to help as they try to work through their grief successfully.
To create your own memorial, visit www.muchloved.com/
To find out about becoming a Muchloved Partner visit www.muchlovedpartners.com/