A personal message to you from the Founding Trustee of MuchLoved
As a child, I remember hearing a letter written by my Grandfather to be read out upon his death. It was a significant, meaningful moment, made all the more solemn by the ritual of opening and reciting the letter. I suspect that a parting email would not have had quite the same impact, but there is an area in which digital media has a new and helpful role to play – in enabling the creation, publication and storage of a remembrance memorial online.
This new kind of memorial has a number of benefits. It presents no geographical or time constraints - family living far away can share their memories in one place and ‘visit’ whenever they want, unbound by closing times or transport requirements. After my brother Philip died, I remember climbing over the fence of the graveyard one evening in order to visit his grave. It may have been a reaction to the idea of the cemetery gates closing shut at dusk, or simply the need I had at a particular time, regardless of whether it was day or night, to connect with him.
Along with words of commemoration and photos, an online memorial also allows video clips and songs to be added, both of which enable memories of your loved one to be shared and preserved. My brother’s girlfriend gave me a tape of a song that she used to play constantly after his death and this song remains an important association and link to him, which I keep on his site to this day.
As well as recording key events and details of their life, we can display personal memories that otherwise would be shut away from the light of day. Immediately following Phil’s death, I wrote a poem that I read out at his funeral which I’m proud and happy to show on his tribute site today whilst my father has also added his personal diary entries outlining his own grief experience within the Journal section.
Another important benefit of an online memorial is that it can easily be updated if people wish to contribute new memories or information. I have given close friends and family members the ability to access and contribute to my brother’s memorial so that they can keep his memory alive in their own way, at the same time perhaps adding photographs or stories that I may not have seen or heard before.
This ability to continually update your memorial over time is something that I find particularly helpful; it is a memorial that never has to be completed or closed, as with my feelings for my dead brother. It is this ongoing process of recording your thoughts and memories in many forms that can assist in your grieving, helping you connect with and keeping the memories of your loved one alive as you gradually adjust to life after loss.
Most people do not have the budget or technical skills to develop a website themselves which can provide all of these things. This is why we have developed MuchLoved so that you can easily create your own personalised and beautiful online tribute in memory of your loved one. We want to help you create your own place to remember, to help and comfort as you try to work through your grief successfully.
Sending you all our love and support,
MuchLoved Charitable Trust