MuchLoved

During the difficult times that followed, Jonathan looked for information and support but found very limited resources to help with his own grief and feelings of isolation. He particularly remembers climbing over the fence of the graveyard one evening to visit Phil’s grave. Whilst partly a reaction to the cold reality of the cemetery gates closing shut at dusk, he was driven by an all-consuming and visceral need at that particular moment in time, regardless of day or night, to connect and feel near to his brother.

Jonathan also wanted to connect with people who knew Philip; to share memories, stories and photos. He was keen to create some sort of online memorial to him, a legacy that could show many of his happy years and make it easy for his school and university friends in particular to view, make contact and to maybe help develop by sending in pictures and thoughts of their own.

He found that there was no appropriate service available, however he was still preoccupied emotionally with his own grieving and the technology and cost to create such a memorial was also prohibitive.

Then, just a couple of years later, his mother Pamela became ill and died the following year whilst only in her mid fifties. Her illness had been initially misdiagnosed, and for a time, her symptoms were believed to be due to grief.  

These experiences confirmed something Jonathan already knew: that grief affects us in so many ways, far beyond just sadness. It isolates people and changes everything in a split second. And without an outlet, it can take a heavy toll on your health and well-being. 

Whilst his brother’s death sparked the idea of a tribute service, it was his mother’s death that was the catalyst for deciding to roll up his sleeves and commit to making it a reality. Jonathan registered the MuchLoved website domain and then, alongside his friend and programmer Andy Daniels, began building what he wished had existed when he lost Philip.

The early days were characterised by lots of thinking over many cups of coffee as it was an idea slightly ahead of its time; there was no template to follow as to how the service should work or develop. Jonathan and Andy knew that to create a service that had a really positive impact, it had to totally focus on the needs of the bereaved person who would set up the site. And they knew that the design would have to be able to accommodate and express a range of emotions from grief and anger through to commemoration and pride.

They then set to work developing the site architecture; laying down exactly how it would function and how they would deliver the service. Issues like security, privacy, personalisation, and collaboration. The task seemed to expand the more they worked on it and by 2005, needing more expertise in design and web-programming, they sought out like-minded partners who worked tirelessly with them to help make the service a reality.

Completing MuchLoved version 1 was truly a labour of love, but after many long nights, late coffees and deep breaths (particularly during the final testing period) the service was finally launched. MuchLoved represents something different to everyone; a community for some, a peaceful haven for others. And whilst it continues to develop and evolve, remembering the person that has died and helping those affected by their death will always remain at the heart of the service.   

From its very origins, MuchLoved has understood that grief changes how the world treats you and how you move through it.  

At first, the idea of an online tribute page was entirely new and unfamiliar. It wasn’t clear if families would engage with the idea. But then something incredible happened. People didn’t just create tributes; they made their pages something so much more. They made them personal, beautiful, and unique. An outpouring of love by sharing stories, lighting candles, and fundraising in memory for good causes. 

We know that having a space to remember, to share, and to connect with others can offer real comfort. We‘re proud that MuchLoved tributes can act as ‘grief icebreakers’ to help break down a sense of isolation within grief communities. We want to support as many people as possible and work with leading funeral directors as well as many hospice and charity professionals: to ensure that no one has to grieve alone, and to help nurture the enduring bonds and love for those we’ve lost. 

We are a small but ambitious team. We love what we do and want to re-shape how society responds to death and to normalise grief. That’s why we’re here: by giving people better ways to remember, we can offer comfort at a difficult time and hopefully help change the culture around death and bereavement, one tribute at a time. 

After Life is an informal diary written by Geoffrey Davies after the death of his son Philip. It is a collection of scribbles, thoughts, poems and memories. Written to help him process his grief, Geoffrey shares his recollections of the time after Philip’s death, and the months afterwards as he and his family try to learn to live with their loss. 

Read After Life 

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a comforting way to cope with loss. You can use your tribute page in this way by visiting the Story section and sharing memories or reflections. Add as many stories as you wish; your page can become a personal journal of remembrance, honouring the person you’ve lost. You can also add Journal entries to your page, a space to record your thoughts and remembrances over time, creating your own personal timeline of memories. A Journal can also be made private so only you can see it on your page if you choose.

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